I love the summer. I love playing out in the sun, the BBQ's, getting a nice tan, going camping, going on walks with my fam, taking Ayden to the park. I love everything that comes with summer....except ONE thing. I have the hardest time every year finding a good swimming suit. This year is ecspecially hard. After I had Olivia I knew I had to lose the baby weight and I wasn't worried. I'd nurse, eat right, and work out. So I did and have been since she was 6 weeks old. I have lost 1 lb a week since she was born and for a while I was really excited and proud. Then, I decided to look for a swim suit.I still feel so fat! I shouldn't though, I only have 5 lbs to go before I'm back to my pre-pregnancy weight. However, I also want to lose an addtional 7. I've been taking Ayden swimming a lot and see these teeny tiny mommies with babies and think, "Why the heck can't I look like that?!!" But then I have to tell myself, I just had a baby! She is barely 3 months old and I've worked my butt off to look like this and I should be proud and grateful but still, it's bugging me to death and I don't know why. I'm working out almost everyday, counting calories and nursing. I'm doing everything right and I'm losing the weight, I just wish I was losing faster. Of course, everyone who is losing weight wishes the same thing. Either that or I wish I could change my attitude about it. I should be very proud, (I hate telling people how much I weigh but I will anyway), I weighed 162 when I got home from the hospital after I had Olivia and now I'm 147. Before I got prego I was 142 but I'd like to be 135 so that's what I'm shooting for. It seemed like the weight just fell off after I had Ayden so I didn't have to work very hard at all. It helped that he was a great nurser. This time is harder and I know it gets harder after each baby.
It seems like when I get flustered with something in my life (and not flustered with something small, but something that is constantly on my mind) everything else seems to be a lot harder and irritates me a lot faster. I'm usually a pretty patient and lenient person so when I'm getting frustrated at the drop of a hat, I know something is wrong and I need to fix it. But how? How can I change my attitude about this whole thing? I know that's the only thing I can do. I can't just lose 12 lbs over night, no matter how much I keep wishing. So until then, I'll keep doing everything I'm doing until I'm satisfied.
I really shouldn't be complaining (I know), I look just fine. I think I just need someone to come over and shake me or slap me out of it and tell me to get over it and that I look fine!
1 comment:
I think I may have alread mentioned this, but I love the new hair cut. Did mom do it? I desperately have been needing to get mine cut, at least 2 more inches to get it back to a good lenth, but I hate putting out the money. I wanted to do it before baby came, but then I think if I wait a couple more days than mom can do it for free! Patience camille, patience! I also want to get a pedicure before baby and keep having a hard time finding the time and using the money...but I REALLY want to!
As far as the weight loss thing, you are right and wrong. Mostly right, you do look great, losing 1 pound a week is perfect while nursing. With all that research I found, you do'nt want to lose more than 2 a pound, but it's recommended to only lose one a week when you are nursing to ensure you are getting enough for you and baby. I have to say one of the hardest things is filling your calories with good healthy calories (you are doing pretty good....but of course we could all do better), but then also doing core exercises. You can't get rid of more fat in certain areas...there is no such thing as target fat loss, BUT by working out certain areas, like your core, the toned muscles will then show instead of extra fat as you are losing all over your body. Someone can still weight 140 pounds and look 20 pounds heavier than someone else who weighs 140 pounds but is more toned. As you are nearing losing the last 10-15 pounds, which you are, start to focus more on toning and core exercises. Don't cut back on the cardio, you will need that more than ever because the last 10 pounds is always the hardest, and as you work muscles more they will gain a little weight, but you will see huge differences.
My last two pregnancies I have noticed my body looking different and feeling more toned as my belly emerged because I knew I had been keeping up with my core exercises.
As far as the way you are feeling, you might be experiencing a little post partum and the only thing to attribute your feelings to would be the weight thing. POst partum can show up months after having a baby so don't eliminate that as a possible source of depressing feelings. I totally went through that with Jayden months after he was born. If that is the case, you need to just make effort to surround yourself with positive people, warn those like brent and other family of what you are going through and that you might just need a little extra help to get through this time.
You are doing aweosme and I love you!
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